Written by You&Milk - Updated on Jul 25, 2024
This sentence alone could sum up how, in my life as a woman, as a mother, there was a before, but above all, an after.
Every woman is different and approaches breastfeeding in her own way, either by thinking about it beforehand or by letting things come naturally, without projection.
So yes, there are women who say outright "for me, breastfeeding is obvious, the question doesn't even arise." Well actually, it does... because even if you want it with all your might, with all your maternal love, sometimes, Nature doesn't help us.
Our strength abandons us.
I was not one of those and I own it. I own it because I remain convinced (and that's just my opinion) that it is precisely by putting no pressure on myself "before" that I succeeded in breastfeeding during, and now for almost 16 months.
There is no ONE right advice to give on how to prepare for Breastfeeding.
It was so comforting and reassuring for me to see that my husband was involved in the question of Breastfeeding. Always without pressure on me.
You see, I have a sweetheart who prepared himself for Breastfeeding (quite ironic, you might say, when you know that the future mom I was didn't even know if she would breastfeed! Haha!), who read a lot on the subject.
At no time did he say to me, "Anyway Aurélie, it's obvious, you will breastfeed."
On the contrary, he knew that the best way to support me, to perhaps lead me to consider it, to think about it calmly, was to give me complete freedom to make that choice.
Breastfeeding is something very personal; you can talk about it beforehand, with the future dad, with your mom (even if she didn't breastfeed!), your sisters, your friends, your loved ones, your gynecologist,...
Breastfeeding should not be the result of family or societal pressure.
Today, we often do things out of conviction, certainly, but also sometimes under the weight of a pattern (which we think is perfect), a pattern often conveyed by social media, or at least by what they want to show us.
Yes, there are certainly kind accounts (thankfully!) but a future mom who is a bit lost, unsure of herself, can feel helpless and self-conscious facing these images of the perfect breastfeeding mom that some may project.
It is you and only you who will know when the time comes, but you will need the greatest support from those you love, especially the person who shares your Life.
I wanted to free myself from that, and during my pregnancy, I rarely consulted breastfeeding moms' accounts and blogs.
I was more concerned with having a serene and risk-free pregnancy for our baby girl to come.
I practiced prenatal yoga, aquagym for pregnant women (THE joy of floating lightly in the water after gaining 20 kilos!), reiki, meditation, relaxation,... everything related to well-being and letting go.
With the future dad, we also practiced Haptonomy (I will dedicate an article on the blog), which brought us both a lot of calm, emotion, and very beautiful moments as a couple, then as a trio.
The well-being and health of our baby was THE priority.
The question of Breastfeeding was less "central" - but no less important - because in my opinion, it would come up later, when our baby was here.
That didn't stop us from preparing in advance for Breastfeeding by buying the little nursing mom's kit: nursing pads, soothing cream for possible (and they really were, so thank you little tube for working miracles!) cracks, nursing shells and bras.
Thanks to that, we could say to ourselves: we are ready.
What's "funny" is that at no point did we consider or think about buying infant formula, "just in case," as some say.
Writing this, I realize that all these little details were actually signs telling me in a small voice "you are ready for this, you just don't know it yet."
My "obviousness" in breastfeeding came with you, Thelma.
When did I know I was going to breastfeed?
Well, at the moment when everything was so intense that nothing was rational, at the moment of THE meeting. Our meeting, the three of us.
It's crazy how maternal instinct, yes that famous "thing" you can't put into words, how it tames you in a fraction of a second, without changing you, without betraying you, no, just because it was there inside you, and a little being came to give it the freedom to express itself. I'm convinced that breastfeeding is part of it. It's there, buried inside you or as obvious as can be, and the very second your baby looks at you for the first time, when he seeks your warm and comforting breast, you know.
When Thelma was born (she must have been assisted by forceps, little love...), she wasn't breathing, so we only had her against us for a tiny handful of seconds to welcome her and admire her, because she was taken care of very quickly by the pediatrician, just a few centimeters from us, which allowed us to talk to her, without taking our eyes off her, before holding her in our arms.
Her dad was beside her to reassure her and tell her that soon, the three of us would hold each other tight.
Then came the moment when we heard her little cry, the one that frees you, that takes your breath away with the greatest relief of your life.
The midwife, while the gynecologist was taking care of me (I'll spare you the details ;-)...), asked me the question, that question "do you want me to put Thelma to the breast, do you want to breastfeed her?". Well, without even thinking about it, without even saying to myself "should I do it or not?", I answered "Oh yes!".
Nothing was the same as before and I loved that feeling of having let myself be carried with complete trust and without pressure
And there, I can tell you that the 9 months when I didn't really ask myself the question gave way to the obviousness of the moment: I was made to breastfeed you Thelma, to share that with you.
I didn't know, but months of pure love, skin-to-skin, cuddly feedings, comforting a sorrow, soothing every little hunger, late at night or very early in the morning, were about to begin...
Yes, I didn't know it BEFORE, but how could I live without it now? ...
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