Breastfeeding without knowing beforehand - A mother's story

If you’d asked me just two years ago whether I was going to breastfeed our future baby, I would have answered (and that’s what I used to say back then, too!), “I don’t know, I’ll see.”

Every woman is different and approaches breastfeeding in her own way, either thinking about it beforehand or letting things unfold without expectations

So yes, there are women who say without hesitation, “For me, breastfeeding is an obvious choice; there’s no question about it.” Well, actually, there is a question... because we can want it with all our might, with all our maternal love, and sometimes Nature doesn’t help us.
Our strength leaves us.
I wasn’t one of those women, and I own that. I own it because I remain convinced (and this is just my personal opinion) that it was precisely by putting no pressure on myself “before” that I managed to make breastfeeding work during those first months, and for almost 16 months now.

There is no ONE piece of advice to give about how to prepare for breastfeeding.

It was so comforting and reassuring for me to see that my husband was taking an interest in breastfeeding. Always without putting any pressure on me

You see, I have a partner who prepared for breastfeeding (which is quite something, considering that I, as the future mom, didn’t even know whether I would breastfeed! Haha!), and who read a lot about it.
Not once did he say to me, “Anyway, Aurélie, obviously you’re going to breastfeed.”
On the contrary, he knew that the best way to support me, and perhaps get me to consider it and think about it calmly, was to give me complete freedom to make that choice.

Breastfeeding is a very personal matter. You can talk about it beforehand with the future dad, your mom (even if she didn’t breastfeed!), your sisters, your friends, your loved ones, your gynecologist...

Breastfeeding should not be the result of family or societal pressure.
Today, we often do things out of conviction, of course, but sometimes also under the weight of a (seemingly perfect) ideal, an ideal often conveyed by social media, or at least by what it chooses to show us.

Yes, there are plenty of supportive accounts (thankfully!), but a somewhat lost, unsure expectant mother can feel helpless and self-conscious when faced with images of the perfect breastfeeding mom that some people may project.

You and you alone will know when the time comes, but you’ll need the greatest support from the people you love, especially the person who shares your life.

I wanted to free myself from that, and during my pregnancy, I rarely checked the accounts and blogs of breastfeeding mothers.
I was more concerned with having a peaceful, risk-free pregnancy for our baby girl on the way.
I did prenatal yoga, water aerobics for pregnant women (THE joy of floating weightlessly in the water when you’ve gained 20 kilos!), reiki, meditation, relaxation... anything related to well-being and letting go.
With the future dad, we also practiced haptonomy (I’ll dedicate an article to it on the blog), which brought us a lot of comfort and emotion, as well as some very lovely moments together, just the two of us and then the three of us.
Our baby’s well-being and health were THE priority.
Breastfeeding was less “central” - but no less important - because, in my opinion, that question would come up later, when our baby arrived.

That didn’t stop us from getting prepared in advance by buying the essentials for a breastfeeding mother: nursing pads, soothing cream for the possible (and very real, so thank you, little tube, for working miracles!) cracked nipples, breast shells, and nursing bras.

Thanks to that, we could tell ourselves: we’re ready.

The “funny” thing is that we never considered or thought about buying formula “just in case,” as some people say.
As I write this, I realize that all these little details were actually signs telling me in a quiet voice, “You’re ready for this; you just don’t know it yet.”

My own moment of certainty about breastfeeding came with you, Thelma.