Written by Elodie GUILLON BERETE, Sleep consultant for young children - Updated on Jul 25, 2024
Article written by Elodie Guillon Bérété - Consultant in young children's sleep.
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Sleep and Breastfeeding: Sweet Night
Let the breastfeeding mother who has never heard " it's because you breastfeed him that he wakes up at night. ", raise your hand.
This sentence so well illustrates the power of misconceptions about breastfeeding. We will try to put this sentence in parentheses for a few minutes to observe the relationship between sleep and breastfeeding.
But why does my baby fall asleep at the breast?
Breastfeeding, that cocktail of hormones that promotes sleep.
Oxytocin, endorphin, prolactin, and even melatonin. Does all that ring a bell or is it too abstract?
Let's take the time to simplify these hormones released during breastfeeding:
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Oxytocin : the love hormone - creates a relaxing, soothing atmosphere conducive to rest and drowsiness
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Endorphin : the hormone of well-being, happiness through sucking
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Prolactin : it boosts relaxation, rest, sleep, and especially restorative sleep
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Melatonin : simply called the sleep hormone (there is more of it early in the evening).
Already hormonally speaking, we better understand why our baby (and/or the mom ;-) ) tends to feel a little sleepy at that moment.
Breastfeeding is also about responding to the vital and archaic reflex need to suck.
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All children have a need to suck more or less important. Sucking is not only for feeding; it has many other benefits. It allows our baby to calm down, to relax – it promotes falling asleep and helps regulate wake and sleep cycles. It also has a pain-relieving role, when there is pain. So, what could be more natural for our breastfed baby than to turn to the breast to satisfy their need to suck? When it works for us, then let's listen to ourselves.
Indeed, meeting our baby's needs, it is simply "to meet their needs», this is not giving them bad habits. However, if it is a constraint for us to meet this need, then there are other solutions to satisfy this need and that’s okay too! Let's listen to ourselves.
Finally, during breastfeeding, we bring together many elements that contribute to our baby's relaxation and release. All this allows falling asleep under the best conditions.
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Our little darling is warm against us, in our mother's arms with our scent, our warmth, our voice, our breathing, etc... all these sensations so familiar and reassuring.
All these factors combined, what better way to let yourself relax and fall asleep? Would you resist a sweet moment of rest under these conditions?
We therefore better understand why our little one falls asleep so naturally at the breast.
You may still be wondering whether it is good to put baby to sleep at the breast or not?
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This answer belongs only to you and not at all to me or anyone else.
You take pleasure in being part of your child's bedtime ritual, ENJOY this is not what will hinder your child's sleep.
If your child wakes up every sleep cycle or every two sleep cycles seeking the breast, the first step will be to try to identify the need that my child is trying to satisfy through breastfeeding during this awakening (hunger, need to suck, physical pain, comfort, need for closeness, etc...) and not at all to think directly that putting them to sleep at the breast is the cause of their awakenings. If you have to remember one thing from this article, I believe it is this one.
Mom, if for reasons that belong to you you don't want breastfeeding to be part of your child's bedtime ritual, listen to yourself. You can breastfeed your baby without him falling asleep at the breast (it's more delicate when very young), the important thing is to find a solution that works for both of you.
Be proud to listen to your limits and you don't have to justify yourself to anyone.
In short, the important thing is to listen to your baby's needs as much as your own and reconcile both so that everyone has a pleasant moment, because isn't that the ultimate goal? a mom-baby duo where everyone finds their place ☺
Now I imagine some are wondering, okay but what about night awakenings?
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Night awakenings are a vast subject night awakenings, we cannot cover everything here (If a special article on this subject interests you, you can always ask Aurélie to prepare a special one on the blog ;-) . In the meantime, it seems important to me to emphasize that a baby's ability to go through several sleep cycles in a row (and thus have fewer and fewer night awakenings) is a neurological capacity and is in no way related to the storage capacity of our baby's stomach.
Of course, a baby who feels hunger during a micro-awakening between 2 sleep cycles would wake up (breast, bottle), but since he would also take the opportunity to wake up if he is cold, uncomfortable, stressed, stimulated, etc... It is because when baby wakes up, his brain goes through a micro-awakening, this opportunity for a full awakening, that the baby will take the opportunity to meet his/her unmet need(s) that he feels and not the other way around.
If the awakenings are more regular and recurrent than a sleep cycle, then maybe there is pain and it is even more important to dig into the origin of what is disrupting your baby's sleep.
It is important to emphasize this because all too often, we generalize the child stomach that is awakened by hunger. Whereas often, we think that a baby who wakes at night is necessarily hungry.
First of all, there are our little newborn babies just arrived among us; very young babies still live in another dimension, with breastfeeding slowly getting established.
And yes, generally, they will send signals that they are ready to nurse (whether they are asleep or awake, by the way).
However, there is no need to wake a baby to offer the breast if they do not send us signals that they are ready to nurse.
Gradually, it will space out more and more their feedings, day and night, with some children very quickly having none or one feeding per night, while others will still have 2 or 3. If your child continues to have very many feedings, beyond 4/6 months (more than 2/3 night wakings), there is probably other needs than nutritional ones that your child wants to satisfy. The breast meets so many needs beyond just nutrition; it is only natural that our child turns to our breast to satisfy them (cuddling, reassurance, familiar sensations, relieving pain, sucking, our presence, etc...).
If the situation suits you as it is, then listen only to yourself, you are not creating a bad habit to your child by responding to their needs, and what could be more natural than doing so through breastfeeding?
My only point of vigilance : if the awakenings are every hour or more, make sure there is no hidden pain that the baby is trying to relieve during these awakenings.
Otherwise, who are we to impose on you whether to be involved or not in responding to your child's needs. As I often read, the only people who have something to say about how we handle night awakenings are those who are with us at 3 a.m. during the awakening ;-)
This situation doesn't suit you? We can take the time to evaluate the situation to identify what is hindering this sleep. We can thus provide a different response, but adapted to your baby's needs to remove this obstacle on sleep and reduce the number of night awakenings.
Night weaning
Some mothers sometimes want to continue breastfeeding but initiate night weaning. In this case, a lot of vigilance. Indeed, night weaning can impact directly your lactation. It is important tobe aware of it.
If you are committed to your breastfeeding, it then seems important to me to suggest evaluating the situation with an IBCLC lactation consultant, who can advise in relation to your breastfeeding and this wish.
It also seems important to me to be able to check in with the doctor/pediatrician who is following your child to ensure that night weaning is somethingfeasible for your child.
Finally, before suggesting this night weaning, it seems important to make sure that your child has no other obstacle causing their night awakenings. If that is the case, they would continue to wake up despite the night weaning attempt because their real needs would not have been met.
The final word
Mom, I hope this article has provided answers.
But above all, I hope it reassured you that you know your baby. Only you know what is best for both of you.
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So listen to yourself, don't hesitate to ask for help if your child's sleep situation becomes too complicated or if you feel lost, because breastfeeding and sleep should rhyme with a moment of softness and letting go and not dozens of awakenings that rhyme with lack of sleep – If needed, you can also get support by a sleep consultant (with breastfeeding training as a bonus, it's better) – she can support you, assess the situation to provide an appropriate response.
And to the next person who tells you « "if they wake up at night it's because you're breastfeeding them" you answer "Is it your brain that's sleeping or your stomach?" » or you can suggest that they contact me, I would be happy to offer them the reading of a few books on the subject ;-)
